Tuesday, August 24, 2010

It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity.”

California's mandatory spay/neuter legislation.

"It’s not the heat, it’s the stupidity.”
--Nathan Stark, Eureka, 2007

SB250 is being voted on again today in California. It’s a “bill aimed at forcing more pet sterilization as an alternative means to euthanizing hundreds of thousands of strays.”-—Sacramento Bee.

The ASPCA is not aware of any credible evidence demonstrating a statistically significant enhancement in the reduction of shelter intake or euthanasia as a result of implementation of mandatory spay/neuter law.

This legislation is intended to stop breeding for profit without regard to the quality or health of the dogs or the breed. It should make it more difficult for owners to breed their dog just for fun: “The kids would learn so much!” It’s an attempt to reduce the rate of canine immaculate conception. Dogs from resulting these circumstances are crowding shelter and rescues. They are being put to death in large numbers. It’s very sad. "We should put an end to this."--The Church Lady

Compliance on licensing is not good. I expect compliance on spay/neuter to be less than “not good.” It makes the assumption that the people responsible for the excess dog population would be responsible enough to comply. People are required to license their dogs. This is easier, faster, and cheaper than spay/neuter and still they don't do it.

In addition to the trouble and expense of spay/neuter, there is the emotional aspect. Not every guy who wants his dog to keep his equipment really intends to him to get any use out of it. Guys can easily get their dog’s cajones confused with their own. The difference seems straightforward to me, but I’m not a guy. When you talk about neutering dogs, guys surreptitiously move their knees closer together. They would no sooner subject their dog to a nutectomy than go in for one themselves.

What else could be done that would be more effective than mandatory spay/neuter? Well, most of the excess dogs are the result of stupid people, not responsible breeders producing dogs for an established market. It would make sense to say that you gotta be smarter than your dog to keep him intact. We need legislation to keep stupid people from breeding dogs, a law that would keep stupid people’s dogs from reproducing. My reasoning follows:

Dogs are notorious breeders. “Dude, you dog you!” When dogs want to get out to do the wild thing in the wild, you have to be smarter at keeping them in than they are at getting out.

You gotta be smarter than your dog if you want to keep him entire. There would be a huge increase in the value of dumb dogs. Every idiot would have to have a dog dumber than he is and he would be willing to pay. After all, he feels that his own cajones are on the line.

Bumper stickers that say “My dog is smarter then your honor student.” would be replaced by stickers that saying “My dog is dumber than yours.” Logically, this would not be bragging material. After all, smart guys need stupid dogs; dumb guys need really stupid dogs. Logic isn’t the issue here. The issue is legislation.

Mandatory spay/neuter won’t work. What will? Make the cost of spay/neuter tax deductible. Give people an incentive to have it done. If you say, “do it because we say so!” stupid dog owners will just pick their noses with their middle fingers. If you say “Do it and you will have more money to buy lotto tickets!” stupid dog owners will stampede the vet’s office. They might even offer to go under themselves. That should be tax deductible too.

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