Today I have cried, first for Natha who is not getting better and for Dustin who is trying to provide what she needs. For Orlando, who was finished with this world before Michelle and Fiona were ready and who would have stayed to save them the pain, if he could have.
The hardest for Janow, who Natha and Lando reminded me of. Sometimes the last nice thing we do for them is let them go. He went quietly, with his pain managed as much as possible. I promised I would make the pain stop, and I did.
For Maggie, who went faster than I was ready for and in terrible agony that I could not stop. I still feel guilt.