Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Today, I have cried.

Yes.
Today I have cried, first for Natha who is not getting better and for Dustin who is trying to provide what she needs. For Orlando, who was finished with this world before Michelle and Fiona were ready and who would have stayed to save them the pain, if he could have.
The hardest for Janow, who Natha and Lando reminded me of. Sometimes the last nice thing we do for them is let them go. He went quietly, with his pain managed as much as possible. I promised I would make the pain stop, and I did.
For Maggie, who went faster than I was ready for and in terrible agony that I could not stop. I still feel guilt.

4 comments:

d. moll, l.ac. said...

Maggie did not die alone, she died surrounded by love. All this death is so hard and today was a triple metal day, the cut feels so deep....

Fantastyk Voyager said...

Losing loved ones leaves big holes in one's heart. It takes years, if ever, to mend...I know.

Breathe said...

It is a tough time, and feels like an endless road.

We are here for you.

I read something on fearlessriding.blogspot.com that made me think of you. I wonder if somehow... well, I don't know. Just made me think of you.

Sandy B said...

Oh Cara...you've had so much sorrow to deal with in the last year. You have lots of people who love you, and now you have Yndi who needed a mommy like you in her life. It will all be good. XO