It's Crazy

Mary Shelley the cat wants to go from the garage, across the kitchen, dining area and family room, out the sliding door to the backyard. She does not want to go out the garage side door to the side yard.

Lydia the dog is in the kitchen. Mary Shelley does not want to go past Lydia.

I open the sliding door so Mary Shelley can see a clear path to her objective. Not enough.

I pick up Lydia the dog and carry her out of sight. Mary Shelley cannot see Lydia and so cannot not be sure she is still restrained.

I move into visible postion. Mary Shelley is still uncertain. I put Lydia down to pick up Mary Shelley and carry her out the sliding door. Lydia finds this exciting. Mary Shelley finds this stressful, so do I.

In the meantime Paula the chicken has wandered into the family room through the open door. Now I have to get Mary Shelley out AND Paula out without Lydia getting too excited.

Mary Shelley is out and I turn to Paula, who is easy but who has just pooped a gooey chicken poop on the rug. Now I have to get Paula out and get the poop cleaned up before Lydia finds the poop and begins eating it. I fail.

My life is not a reality show. I know this because I would either get a prize or get eliminated for my performance. Intstead, I have to keep playing but I don't get a prize.